A Quick Look at One Armed Scissor

Looking to get shredded today? Here’s a splinter of advice: grab your favorite mutant pals and skate over to One Armed Scissor to raise some shell! Err…hell!

Contrary to all appearances and testimony otherwise, this is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themed bar and no one will convince me otherwise [ed. it’s not]. Michelangelo, the best turtle, announces the special. Turtle plushes and figures pepper the bar. Their signature cocktail is The Bebop, a high quality old fashioned made with Whistle Pig 10 Year Whiskey and maple syrup. It’s cozy and clean. The TVs are constantly showing a mix of off-beat movies and European soccer. And they give away the popcorn for free. Cowabunga? Cowabunga!

“But Paul, what about the cheap booze?” you ask. Oh they’ve got it. From 3pm to 7pm every day, you can get $2 off classic cocktails like the cobbler and the Midori sour. You also get $2 off wine and $1 off beer. They also offer daily specials, noteworthy among which are Tuesdays with $3 tallboys and Friday/Saturdays with the standard deal extended all the way to 9pm. Yes, you read that right. A six hour happy hour. If you leave now, you’ll probably make it with time to spare.

P.s. don’t @ me about how cool Leonardo is. you’re wrong and i hate you.